When Insult Became Pride

I’ll never forget the day when what I considered to be an offensive term became a prideful term. I was at work having a conversation with my boss at the time and somehow the conversation quickly shifted to paying for things. And then the seemingly insulting term was uttered out of her mouth…

“I know you’re cheap…”

My initial reaction was anger and embarrassment. I mean, she can’t say that to me. Especially as my boss! I should go to HR, right? But then I quickly remembered a very appropriate quote a wise coworker had gifted me at a previous job.

I had gone to this wise coworker at the previous job to lament about someone who had spoken ill about me to my then boss. She gave me the most profound advice I had received at the time. Consider the source. It was life changing because it made me realize that when people speak about you, it isn’t always a reflection of you, but of them.

So in this moment, when my boss was calling me cheap, this simple yet profound quote came to mind. Consider the source.

Well, when I looked at it that way, the whole idea of her calling me cheap was laughable! Of course I was seen as cheap in her eyes. She who had the most horrible credit, who admitted she would be on a payment plan for everything in her life (I’m talking utility bills, rent-to-own furniture, Christmas presents from months back, several deferred student loans, everything), and in the midst of all this, was looking to finance a $29,000 car at a payment of over $800 a month.

Contrast this with myself, who had excellent credit, no credit card debt, had just paid off my student loans, and had about 4 months worth of cash savings in the bank.

Now I was not always financially responsible. I’d had my share of small credit card debt that my parents had paid off for me. But after paying off my student loans through hard work and sacrifice, my relationship with money and debt changed. My priorities shifted towards becoming debt free and every financial decision I made boiled down to that.

New shoes or debt free? Sushi night or debt free? Hair salon or debt free?

I later found several personal finance resources, almost all of which promote frugality, which I have now come to realize is a more accurate way to describe my perspective on my finances. Realizing how much my personal relationship with money had grown, I wore that badge of being cheap with honor and pride.

Cheap to me no longer meant poor or less than. It meant responsible. It meant a better, easier, more comfortable future. For me and my family.

Think about your financial decisions. Would you be considered cheap or frugal also? Would you wear this label with pride?